journal 1 for week 10

While we had dinner my mother was complaining about her neighbor whose cat Josie is always shiting in her garden. These too have lived next to each other for ten years and they can’t stand each other, well for the most part they can’t stand each other. Just as are discussing the situation my mother starts cursing like a sailor.
Mother fuckin cat’s out there right now! I swear to god I am going to kill that no god for nothing vermin! I look out the window and laugh as the orange tabby is starting to take a dump on my mother’s lettuce. My mother gives me a look that would freeze hell over and jumps up from the table spilling her beer and knocking over the salt and pepper along with her chair.
Rushing to the door she pauses for just a moment to consider her choice of weapon, much the way a man going into battle might choose the best weapon for combat. Deciding quickly she picks up the umbrella and barrels out the door wielding the umbrella like a sword!
Moments after leaving the house my mother is in the garden but things are not going so well since it rained last night and the garden is all muddy. She must have chosen a poor spot to stand because and she reaches the cat she slips going face down in the mud the umbrella opening on impact. Scaring the shit out of the cat, causing it to leap at my mother as she hits the ground hard, “Oomph!”, back arched it is hissing at the top of its lungs, while digging all of its claws into her back.
I rush out the door into the garden being careful not to slip when just as my foot comes down the cat flies underneath tripping me. I fall face first into the mud crushing my mother zucchini. My mother looks up at me with a look that was so pitiful I had to laugh. She looked like she was going to hit me for a moment and then she started laughing as well…